maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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