Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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