Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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