Whats the glycemic index on semen?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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