Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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