So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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