Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize