or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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