How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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