I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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