Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
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There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
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I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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