Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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