Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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