I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He had one of those small greek statue penises
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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