Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize