I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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