His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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