did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
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You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
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Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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