I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize