So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize