just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize