I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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