at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize