Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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