Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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