Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
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"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
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It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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