Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize