Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize