I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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