can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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