Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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