Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize