We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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