Me too!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize