If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize