glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
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