i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize