winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize