she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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