So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
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i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
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I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
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