I seem to have left my pride at pride
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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