People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have aggressive nipples.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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