I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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