naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize