He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize