if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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