He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize