got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I am available for nakedness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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