Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
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I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
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Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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