tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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